As you would have probably understood by now, low self-esteem is a prime reason that a person be it your husband or a colleague can get away with saying hurtful things to you. It is possible you talked back to him in front of his friends or family and he saw it as a sign of disrespect. In some situations, spouses who are having extra marital affairs become more nice to the person they have always loved, possibly because of the happiness they are experiencing after years of being in a dead or undesired marriage. When your husband belittles you, remember to not let him pull you into his negative world. The Huffington Post reported that a relationship has gone toxic if one partner calls all the shots in the household. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. According to the aforementioned article in The Huffington Post, if your spouse sucks you of energy because he or she exhibits any (or many) of the above behaviors, take that as a sign that your relationship is in need of repair. Your feelings and thoughts are neither heard nor respected. Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. You dont need to be compared to anyone you know or dont know. Couple relationshipsthe pains and pleasures, the anxieties and comforts, the craziness and calm. He will become tired and stop. Once you only pay attention to the positive, you wont have time to be sour about the negative. Although they exaggerate their talents and achievements, and they can't seem to do anything wrong, you are bearing the brunt of your arguments. They meet in the middle with those goals, and calculate everything together. This could be anything from calling you names and teasing you through to insulting you and undermining everything you say. All at no extra cost to you. Sometimes, this is so matter-of-fact that you fail to notice that your partner is trying to bring you down. On top of that, they may also say that they are making their partner grateful by putting up with foolish behavior. 3. Try asking your spouse to tell you what is really going on by saying something like, "I feel like you might be upset about something other than me. This is not the type of person you want to be married to. Instead of worrying about their behavior, focus on yourself. Because my lifestyle is a bit more lavish than his, he would call me your highness sarcastically. Draw a personal boundary, 5. This is totally toxic. Most people might get anxious and angry when their husbands belittle them in public. It isnt to say these people are spoilt or have too many demands they just appreciate the beauty in the small things we may or may not see or realize. It is indeed an interesting phenomena. For instance, if you are nervous about a project you have been working on for a long time, instead of giving you motivation, your husband might say, You dont have what it takes to make this a success. 1. Because your spouse lacks empathy, they might be critical, cruel, or unforgiving. A closet romantic, she is accused of being a cynic but she believes she is a realist. The definition of "belittle" can be easily surmised from the two words that it is made up of, "be" and "little." Said another way, belittling is language or behavior that literally makes someone feel small, unimportant, inferior or minimized. Keomahayong advises shifting the focus from your husband to yourself. Knowing the answer to this is very important if you are seeking an equal marriage, one in which you have a say, are respected, and valued for the person you are. By emphasizing his flaws and telling him without being worried about hurting his feelings, you might just open his eyes to the fact that hes not perfect himself. Michelle Shahbazyan is the Founder of The LA Life Coach, a concierge life, family, and career coaching service based in Los Angeles, California. Next time he tries to do so, openly tell him some belittling comments. Instead, talk about yourself and what you are feeling, and remain respectful towards him while doing so. . From on-the-job stress to feeling heady about being promoted to a lofty position, job influences can have a powerful impact on even the most unflappable personality. Women are often trained to overlook mean comments and rude remarks that come their way, but it is time to change that. Of course, this does not mean that you accept belittling behavior in any way. My husband used to be very jealous and controlling, but we have navigated through that, and he has gotten over . This is toxic behavior and could be a sign that your marriage has taken a toxic turn. Your husband may be wrong when it comes to behavior but when he belittles you about it, confronting him at that time may be a bad idea. Trust me, you are not being the bigger person here by letting these hurtful comments slide while you are feeling dejected by husband every day. It might be that these experiences matter most to him. There are chances that men who are less successful than their partners might resort to this emotional abuse to feel good. Putting them in your shoes might help them understand this better. ", For example, you might say, "Last night during dinner you made a remark that was pretty condescending. Don't keep quiet about it, otherwise, it will become worse. If this is the case, you can focus on addressing the condescending behavior within this specific context. For example, if your spouse is being condescending about your parenting skills, you might ask "how would you do it better?" A conversation may be enough to make him realize his mistake. Consider simply using your quiet voice to communicate with your man. It may also be a. , this demeaning behavior in a relationship often affects women, and they become isolated and more prone to depression. You can also ask them why they talk to you like they do, since they might be projecting their own insecurities onto you without realizing. The act of belittling is one where the other person makes you, your actions, words, feelings, achievements or thoughts feel insignificant or small. It comes down to a few things said by them that make you feel small, insignificant, or like you are not good enough. It is important to keep your relationship private but even more important to take a stand for yourself when such things happen. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/0b\/Cope-With-a-Condescending-Spouse-Step-7-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Cope-With-a-Condescending-Spouse-Step-7-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/0\/0b\/Cope-With-a-Condescending-Spouse-Step-7-Version-2.jpg\/aid2058027-v4-728px-Cope-With-a-Condescending-Spouse-Step-7-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"